Logical Understanding Meets TRUE Understanding

We received orders yesterday; let the madness begin. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY excited. Excited to move nearer to family. Excited to settle somewhere for longer than a year. Excited to see Eric start doing what he's been training to do for the last 13 months. I'm also outrageously overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the thought of packing my entire house and leaving by Oct. 12. Overwhelmed that we don't have a place to live in Jersey. Overwhelmed that, amidst all of this excitement, there's MORE--family will be here tomorrow to celebrate graduation. Yep, while my house is half-packed and my brain is half-fried by mental to-do lists a mile long.

But never fear, after years of waiting for me to figure it out myself, God gave me a swift kick in the pants this morning at Bible study.

Now to him that is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we can ask or think, according to the power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.... Ephesians 3:20-21

I first studied Ephesians 3:20-21 at the Iowa Youth Connection convention when I was in high school. The teaching was incredible and relevant and inspiring. Consequently, it's been my favorite verse since then. I loved the thought of God being able to do more than anything I could even wrap my mind around. To think that His plan for my life is so big that it wouldn't even fit in my head excited me. And the best part: not only CAN He do it, He is WILLING to...for me! That said, I realized this morning that I still unwittingly respond to God the same way the four-year-old me responded to my mom when she would offer to tie my shoes: "I do it myself!"

In short, as I contentedly listened to Priscilla Shirer talk about what I (before this morning) proudly referred to as my "all-time favorite verse", I reflected on how much time has passed since I first heard this verse and how amazing it is that it's still the one that speaks loudest to me. And two seconds after that I thought, wait a second, ...that's kinda pathetic! I immediately got a mental image of God laying Ephesians 3:20 on my heart at 14 years old and-- fast-forward 9 years-- banging His head against the wall because I still have yet to do anything with it. Therein lies my epiphany: God made that verse stick out to me at 14 for a reason! Shouldn't I have learned a lesson from it and moved on to another "all-time favorite verse" by now? I have marveled over God's power, His limitless love, His plan that is "exceedingly, abundantly beyond all that we can ask or think" for years. The realization of those truths moves me. I get that He is able. I get that He is willing. I get it. Logically, that is. But what about spiritually? I can wrap my mind around the fact that I can't wrap my mind around God's giant, amazing, perfect plan for me...but have I wrapped my heart around it? Have I truly internalized the fact that God is wanting, WAITING, to do "exceedingly, abundantly beyond..." for me? Clearly not, because here I am ripping my hair out at the thought of house-hunting and cleaning and packing and entertaining all at the same time; I haven't even thought to ask for something as simple as stress-relief, let alone a grand life plan. I'm humbled (and slightly ashamed) by my lacking faith in a season of life when I need it more than usual. How can I expect to receive the blessings God has in store for me-- the career paths, the relationships, the joy and security found only in His love-- if I can't even confidently hand Him my cardboard boxes and packing tape and ask him to make the way to New Jersey smooth?

It's amazing to me how many times we must fail at trying to do so much on our own before we truly hear God's standing offer to help and finally take him up on it. Sometimes it's a matter of not wanting to bother Him with the little things; we don't want to exhaust His almighty power with silly business...but get this! The book of Genesis tells us that God simply spoke the world into existence. But in Ephesians 3:20, Paul uses the Greek word "dutimous" to refer to God's power, meaning explosive or dynamic. THAT is "the power that is at work within us"-- explosive, dynamic power. Where am I going with this? God merely talked to form the world...but He has dynamite power ready for you and I to tap into at any time. ANY time. For ANYthing. Power to pack boxes. Power to enjoy the moment despite that to-do list. Do you get it? God has given us more of His power and energy than He Himself exerted in creating the entire world. Further than that, He expects us to use it, all the time. He numbered the hairs on our heads, people (Matthew 10:30)--every little thing that concerns us, concerns God, too. This morning I FINALLY got it through my thick, stubborn head: my packing isn't too insignificant for God. Neither is my fear that I'll let stress overtake what should be a wonderful weekend with family. He cares about these things because I care about these things, and He will use that dynamite power to bust through all of these obstacles as soon as I ask. So I'm going to go do that...and while I'm at it I think it's about time I apologize for His wicked headache.

Military Spouses

I found this great essay from Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul. While I can't yet totally identify with everything the story says, I'm mentally preparing myself for the very near future when I will live every word of it. Many people who have little or no familiarity with the military don't know that it truly is more than the sacrifices of one person, but the sacrifices of a whole family, that allow us the freedoms we take for granted. (I know I didn't fully understand that before...) My respect for military families grows deeper and deeper as I meet more and more fellow spouses with years of "military life" experience. I couldn't be prouder to live this lifestyle and support my husband alongside the other wonderful, strong military wives I've met in the last year. Whether it's the constant moving or the necessity for flexibility at all times or the knowledge that your daily life is lived in service of something bigger than yourself, there really is something special about a military spouse. I hope I can live up to the title.

It was just another harried Wednesday afternoon trip to the commissary (grocery store on military bases). My husband was off teaching young men to fly. My daughters were going about their daily activities knowing I would return to them at the appointed time, bearing, among other things, their favorite fruit snacks, frozen pizza, and all the little extras that never had to be written down on a grocery list. My grocery list, by the way, was in my 16-month-old daughter's mouth, and I was lamenting the fact that the next four aisles of needed items would wait while extracting the last of my list from my daughter's mouth, when I nearly ran over an old man.

This man clearly had no appreciation for the fact that I had 45 minutes left to finish the grocery shopping, pick up my 4-year old from tumbling class, and get to school, where my 12-year-old and her carpool mates would be waiting.


I knew men didn't belong in a commissary, and this old guy was no exception. He stood in front of the soap selection staring blankly, as if he'd never had to choose a bar of soap in his life. I was ready to bark an order at him when I realized there was a tear on his face.


Instantly, this grocery aisle roadblock transformed into a human..."Can I help you find something?" I asked. He hesitated, and then told me he was looking for soap.

"Any one in particular?" I continued.

"Well, I'm trying to find my wife's brand of soap." I started to loan him my cell phone to call her when he said, "She died a year ago, and I just want to smell her again."

Chills ran down my spine. I don't think the 22,000-pound Mother of all Bombs could have had the same impact. As tears welled up in my eyes, my half-eaten grocery list didn't seem so important. Neither did fruit snacks or frozen pizza.

I spent the remainder of my time in the commissary that day listening to a man tell the story of how important his wife was to him -- how she took care of their children while he served our country. A retired, decorated World War II pilot who flew missions to protect Americans still needed the protection of a woman who served him at home.


My life was forever changed that day. Every time my husband works too late or leaves before the crack of dawn, I try to remember the sense of importance I felt that day in the commissary.


Some times the monotony of laundry, housecleaning, grocery shopping, and taxi driving leaves military wives feeling empty -- the kind of emptiness that is rarely fulfilled when our husbands come home and don't want to or can't talk about work.


We need to be reminded, at times; of the important role we fill for our family and for our country. Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses...how special they are and the price they pay for freedom too. The funny thing is; most military spouses don't consider themselves different from other spouses. They do what they have to do, bound together not by blood or merely friendship, but with a shared spirit whose origin is in the very essence of what love truly is. Is there truly a difference? I think there is. You have to decide for yourself...


Other spouses get married and look forward to building equity in a home and putting down family roots. Military spouses get married and know they'll live in base housing or rent, and their roots must be short so they can be transplanted frequently.


Other spouses decorate a home with flair and personality that will last a lifetime. Military spouses decorate a home with flare tempered with the knowledge that no two base houses have the same size windows or same size rooms.


Curtains have to be flexible and multiple sets are a plus. Furniture must fit like puzzle pieces.


Other spouses have living rooms that are immaculate and seldom used. Military spouses have immaculate living room/dining room combos. The coffee table got a scratch or two moving from Germany, but it still looks pretty good.


Other spouses say goodbye to their spouse for a business trip and know they won't see them for a week. They are lonely, but can survive. Military spouses say good-bye to their deploying spouse and know they won't see them for months, or a year, or longer. They are lonely, but will survive.


Other spouses, when a washer hose blows off, call Maytag and then write a check out for having the hose reconnected. Military spouses have to cut the water off and fix it themselves.


Other spouses get used to saying "hello" to friends they see all the time. Military spouses get used to saying "goodbye" to friends made the last two years.


Other spouses worry about whether their child will be class president next year. Military spouses worry about whether their child will be accepted in yet another school next year and whether that school will be the worst in the city...again.


Other spouses can count on spouse participation in special events...birthdays, anniversaries, concerts, football games, graduation, and even the birth of a child. Military spouses only count on each other; because they realize that the flag has to come first if freedom is to survive. It has to be that way.


Other spouses put up yellow ribbons when the troops are imperiled across the globe and take them down when the troops come home. Military spouses wear yellow ribbons around their hearts and they never go away.


Other spouses worry about being late for mom's Thanksgiving dinner. Military spouses worry about getting back from Japan in time for dad's funeral.


The television program showing an elderly lady putting a card down in front of a long, black wall that has names on it touches other spouses. The card simply says, "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. You would have been sixty today." A military spouse is the lady with the card, and the wall is the Vietnam Memorial.


I would NEVER say military spouses are better than other spouses. But I will say there is a difference. I will say, without hesitation, that military spouses pay just as high a price for freedom as do their active duty husbands and wives.


Perhaps the price they pay is even higher. Dying in service to our country isn't near as hard as loving someone who has died in service to our country, and having to live without them.

God bless our military spouses for all they freely give.

Big Sexy

Dreams really do come true. We will be leaving sunny Del Rio, TX for a KC-10 at McGuire AFB in New Jersey!! First choice plane, first choice base.




We still have a lot to learn about the assignment and the plane (including WHEN we'll be leaving)..but here's what we know so far:
Plane: KC-10
Nicknames: Extender, Big Sexy, The Gucci Life
Pilot's nicknames: "Gucci boys"
Favorite Saying: "NKAWTG" (Nobody Kicks A** Without Tanker Gas!)
Size:
Length: 178.48ft (54.40m)
Width: 164.04ft (50.00m)
Height: 57.09ft (17.40m)
Empty Weight: 241,027lbs (109,328kg)
MTOW: 585,327lbs (265,500kg)

Performance:
Max Speed: 600mph (966kmh; 522kts)
Max Range: 4,369miles (7,032km)
Rate-of-Climb: 6,870ft/min (2,094m/min)
Service Ceiling: 41,755ft (12,727m; 7.9miles)


They call the 10 the "Gucci Life" because it is what the pilots like to call a "cushy" cockpit in a nice, large aircraft complete with a bathroom, kitchen, and sleeping quarters for multiple crews. We've heard that due to its size, it can't land in smaller (read: yucky, dangerous) places. This means that when they have to land somewhere they apparently go to places like Spain and stay in 5 star hotels. Rough, right? There are only 50-something of them in the Air Force inventory, so it's a small, tight-knit community. Another bonus? It has two bases-McGuire and Travis. McGuire is an hour or two from NYC, Philadelphia, Atlantic City, the Jersey Shore, Appalachian mountains, and Washington D.C. And of course, Jersey has FALL WEATHER!! Yeeehaw! Travis is in beautiful Northern California, right next to Napa Valley!

Drop Night was a blast; the jerseys turned out great!!




As you can imagine....Eric is THRILLED to be "passing gas"!!! (he's a pro already, ;) )

T-5 days and counting!

We are less than 5 days away from knowing what the next 4 years hold. As you can imagine, the anticipation is palpable. While we do care (A LOT) about what plane we get and where we go, we know that regardless of what we get, God has a plan for us. It's awesome to know that whether He uses our desires or whether He sends us down a road we never expected to travel, we will be in for an exciting adventure of His choosing. And you can't go wrong there! Ah! Sooo exciting!!! Eric has two flights left in all of pilot training--a co-pilot ride and a checkride-- and then he gets to sit back and enjoy the celebration. (And I get to enjoy having him around more often!)

To pass the seemingly ever-slowing time, there has been many a coffee date, social hour, etc. The other wives/fiancées/girlfriends and I decided to participate in the spirit of drop night by making shirts that go with the theme the guys have chosen. So tomorrow everyone will be gathering at my house to put our "Team 10-15" jerseys together. I'm excited to see how they turn out and to have such a presence at drop; there are 13 of us! (That's A LOT for one class--the most spouses/significant others we've seen in one class is 8, and average is probably 4 or 5.) I am most excited that, despite some of the social drama of the past year, we are ending on a high note and coming together to celebrate our guys and have fun. Enjoying everyone's company again has been refreshing.

Time-out: Are you wondering what "Drop Night" is??
Drop Night is epic. It is the grande finale of all finales. It is a room full of excited boys (and a few girls) in fire-proof green pajamas, poking fun at the silly mistakes their classmates made throughout UPT and (in true male fashion) tackling each other out of pure--or feigned--elation upon hearing their assignments, while T-6 students look on in jealousy and eagerness for their turn someday.
It *usually* goes like this: one by one, the guys in the graduating class are stood up in front of a room full of current UPT students, guys waiting to start UPT, IPs, friends, commanders, etc. One of the IPs from their flight (remember, "flight" is pilot-speak for "class" or "team") roasts them, telling funny stories about stupid stuff they did during pilot training or highlighting their quirky personalities. Then, they say something like, "Let's see where powder-white Butler will be running for shade next..." and flash a picture of the plane they will fly and a map with a dot on it to show the base they will be moving to-- "It's a KC-10!.....to McGuire!!!" The crowd cheers and screams. And Butler, jumping up and down with his beer in hand, is tackled by a herd of belligerent flightmates. Yes, this does require a refill; often the glass is left hanging in mid-air, depending on the enthusiasm of the tackle.
OUR drop, however, will be different from any drop we've seen. Instead of the standard, boy-chooses-plane model, our class has decided to run it like an NFL draft, where plane-chooses-boy, much like a football team chooses a player. So, everyone will be roasted one by one. Then, they'll flash a random plane up on the screen and say something like, "The KC-10 chooses...(picture changes to one of Eric)...Lt. Butler!" And he'll run up to the front, where his IP will have a "jersey" that has a silhouette of his plane on it and the number 10 on the back. The guys will have no idea which plane is going to "choose" them. It's going to be fuuuun, and very different for the crowd...

Needless to say, our life is consumed by Drop/Graduation right now. If you want in on the anticipation/excitement/fun, send me a message or a text or a phone call and I'll put you on the "must contact" list. This list of people will get (at the very least) a text message shortly after we find out what Eric will be flying and where we will be going. But please don't expect a play-by-play until at least the next day; Drop Night is loud and crazy and lasts into the night if you're the drop class. We'll definitely want to tell you all about it, but probably not on Friday!

Ok, time to be productive...pray for our assignment, and for a quick week!! :)