Woah, Baby!

...5 weeks away from meeting Miss BMonkey!

I would post pictures of her adorable nursery, but my steel trap of a husband doesn't want the little hint to her name to be public. Maybe when we're within days of her arrival I'll sneak a picture or two up here. :)

B-Monkey, Checkin' in!

Do we have names picked out? Yes. Are we sharing? Still nope!

How Far Along: 23 weeks, 2 days

Due Date: January 24

Size of baby: 12+ inches (as long as an ear of corn!), over 1 lb.

Total Weight Gain: ~18 lbs...eek!

Maternity Clothes: OH yes, and they're the ONLY thing I can wear anymore (for the most part)

Gender: My intuition was right! A pretty little mini-me. :)

Movements: TONS! I didn't feel her for a while due to her positioning, and then out of nowhere--wham! She's a strong little girl; I've gotten quite the beating over the last 6 weeks. so cool!

Sleep: Still pretty normal, but I do wake up a little more often than usual.

What I miss: Rigorous exercise. I'm sure I could push harder than I do, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. And there's been a few times during this hot this summer when I wouldn't have minded a cold beer or a nice glass of wine with dinner!

Cravings: I still can't get enough spicy food or water. Grapes are still a favorite, too.

Symptoms: I've had it so easy...hoping it stays that way! I've just started to have a little lower back pain on the days that I spend a lot of time on my feet.

Best Moment this week: Feeling her kick/punch/roll around so much! It's such a crazy feeling.

Funny pregnancy story of the week: Hmm, I don't know if I have one. It's pretty fun to feel her kick really hard when Eric says her name. Probably just coincidence, but we still find it cool.

The News You've Been Waiting For

For those wondering when this day would come, wonder no longer. We have officially taken on the title of Expectant Parents to our (affectionately nicknamed) little "B-Monkey". The munchkin made him/herself known just 2 days before we left for Paris on our honeymoon back in May, but we waited to make the news public until the notorious 1st trimester came to a close. "What? Paris?!" you say. Yea, sorry about that...hopefully I'll be better at baby updates than I am at life updates these days. Here's the first of many:

Will we find out the sex? Yes, assuming B-Monkey cooperates.

Do we have names picked out? Yes. Are we sharing? Nope! :)

How Far Along: 12 weeks.

Due Date: Too early to be exact, but somewhere between Jan 24-28. Snow baby!

Size of baby: About 2 in., .5 oz. (The size of a lime)

Total Weight Gain: ~3 lbs.

Maternity Clothes: Not yet! But I did just buy my first maternity shirt in anticipation. :)

Gender: TBA, but I think it might be a girl. I'm probably wrong, but that's the feeling this week.

Movements: None yet, but I'm really looking forward to feeling those little feet/elbows!

Sleep: Still pretty normal, but I'm already trying to train myself to sleep on my side.

What I miss: Hmmm, not much. Energy? I was pretty bummed not being able to try the French wine in Paris, too.

Cravings: Mexican/spicy food, pineapple, watermelon, grapes, and ridiculous amounts of water.

Symptoms: Mild but persistent nausea (especially if I don't eat frequently) and tiredness are the two big ones. In the last week I've been feeling little stretching pains in my stomach, too.

Best Moment this week: Hearing the heartbeat for the first time this morning! Such an amazing experience. I SO wish I could have shared the moment with daddy-to-be, but it was still special and exciting.

Funny pregnancy story of the week: I've never been a particularly moody or emotional girl, so randomly bursting into tears while having a nice lunch in Newport on the Levee with my family was pretty hilarious. Nothing bad had happened; we were sitting in the sun enjoying ourselves when our food came and I think I had the very fleeting realization that I wasn't very hungry. Cue the tears. Seriously?! Taken off-guard, mom, dad, and sister asked what was wrong and I couldn't help but laugh through the tears as I told them I had no freakin' clue! My sister wasted no time in laughing with (or at?) me. Can't wait till she's on this hormonal rollercoaster someday.

My Two Cents on "What Not To Say To A Military Wife"

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted; it's been a busy few months.

For a few weeks now, I've seen this article floating around. I have to say, while I kind of understand what this girl is talking about, I find her responses snarky, inappropriate, and unfair. However, it also made me think seriously about the way I react to the comments she lists and I stand convicted. Take a minute to read it, see what you think. I'll wait.

With only a few trips under our belt and our first deployment just now upon us, some may find me under-qualified to speak on this subject. #1, those people are entitled to their opinion, #2, while we've not been through several deployments, I have still been on the receiving end of several of these and similar comments after simply telling someone my husband is in the military. The common responses I get in military-related conversation are, "oh, so how long has your husband been in the army?" "Only 3 months?! That's nothing!" and the very popular, "oh yea, my husband goes away for business all the time, I understand/it's not that different/etc."

While it's easy and perhaps even natural for my blood pressure to rise upon hearing the last two especially, I have to remember how little the general public knows about our lifestyle. Furthermore, I cannot and should not expect them to know because, brace yourselves, the Earth does not revolve around me. Or the military. On one hand, that person could be trying to make me feel better by trying to make me feel not so different. And sure, I have gotten the occasional tone that clearly suggested I was being ridiculous for thinking my situation felt different than the norm. I could spend 20 minutes explaining to them that, while my husband only leaves for 3 months at a time, his tempo will add up to at least 260 days away from home per year, every year, until needs of the military change or until he gets transferred to a different job. (In the spirit of transparency: I've done this. Several times. In hindsight, it probably sounded like the pity party of the century.) I could justify all the ways in which I feel that sending your husband off to the desert for 3 months and sending him to California for 3 weeks are vastly different. But what's the point of going through all that? To get them to feel sorry for me? What about forcing that down their throats is going to serve me well or make me look like a dignified human being?

More to the point, I find that the vast majority of the responses and comments that this young lady lists come out of a very pure and genuine desire to say something respectful and sympathetic. As such, they do not deserve the attitude she fires back at them. What is so offensive about someone saying, "wow, you must miss him," or "how do you do it, I don't think I could." Please, ladies, think about how much you knew about the military before you married into it. If, like me, you didn't grow up around it, you probably would have said the same things. It is only natural for people to use their own experiences as a filter for understanding yours. If the goal of this article is to educate and inform so as to not feel so misunderstood, she took the wrong approach. If I had read this 4 years ago, before I could identify with the author, I would have felt resentful that my well-meaning comments were so ungraciously received without the benefit of the doubt. Such a reaction only alienates us further and paints us in a very pretentious, entitled light. I've always felt that no one has the right to demand respect; respect is earned. This article demands respect (along with an unreasonable depth of understanding) on behalf of all military wives and does so in a very disrespectful way. I, for one, do not want to be one of the wives she speaks for.

I know several of us have that voice in our heads when we read articles like this. The one that says, "Yea! You tell 'em!" But please, before you allow that to take over, think about what message you're sending. These comments come from uninformed and mostly well-meaning people. Do you want them to learn that we are a gracious, humble group of supportive women or do you want to educate them to believe that we're entitled and bitter that we don't get the respect our service members do? Furthermore, think of the veteran spouses you know: how do you think they respond to comments like these? I don't know about you, but the attitude I read in the author's tone and the initial feeling I feel when reading it are both fairly immature and hot-headed. I've been fortunate enough to meet many "career spouses" and I can think of very few, if any, who would respond in the way this young lady did.

And for the comments and responses she listed that are CLEARLY hateful/ignorant/just downright ridiculous and rude, I would bet that anyone bold enough to say such things probably makes poor choices about a lot of things that come out of their mouths. It's probably not a unique phenomenon and therefore has little to do with the military family situation: let's not dignify it with a response.

Hot Off the Press: A Month Full of Updates

Well, another month has flown by-- but not without leaving it's mark.

The Good:
We attended the Art of Marriage Conference at our church last weekend. What an awesome ministry! The teaching was so relevant and challenging to us and it provided another opportunity to get involved by serving in the church. I spent the week leading up to the conference helping plan and organize the event; oh how fulfilling it was to use my talents and skills for such a worthy purpose.

The (not so) Bad:
Weather here is breaking news. No seriously. For almost an entire week, the news would begin with "(insert tragic event that happened in Philadelphia today, for which we have very few details)....but first, the breaking news is, once again, the AccuWeather Forecast." It is a common misconception that New Jersey gets snowfall in quantities similar to our home state of Michigan. Oh no, my friends. The temperatures here barely dip below freezing, and when they do you'd think NJers are afraid of immediate onset frostbite. It has snowed 5 times (maybe?!), but each 5-10'' snowfall was treated like a snowpocalypse of epic proportions. The fear is so strong that the entire base shut down and Eric did not have to go to work on two or three occasions. Granted, because they rarely get snow, they do not have the equipment (or plowing expertise!) to handle it. But still. It's pretty comical to these self-proclaimed Lake Effect Snow Warriors. After the first snowfall we thoroughly shoveled and liberally salted our driveway, expecting (like any snow-savvy midwesterner would) a regular dusting at the very least. We were amazed to see we were the only ones taking such precautions; no one else in the neighborhood bothered. The next day we figured out why: it. all. melted. And did not come back for another month. We probably looked like overzealous fools!

The Ugly:
Appendicitis paid me a visit; what an unexpected treat! As a result, I spent a lot of quality time with my cozy couch. Thank the Lord for the creators of Kindle and Netflix. I'm finally reaching the point where I can once again cook dinner and clean my house and carry a basket of laundry-- all in one day! Seriously though, they told me it wouldn't be a very long recovery. Turns out that my definition and the doctors' definition of "long" are different. I want my house back in order and I think the "milk it for all it's worth" period is long over where my handsome caretaker is concerned. Oh well, he was a great nurse while it lasted!

A Laundry List I Like

As we continue to find our groove in the new place, I am often overwhelmed with gratitude for the grace and blessings showered on us thus far. When I'm having a "meh" day, these are the things I think of:

The Voyage: After an overly-eventful move to Del Rio from Michigan, and a wild trip home for Christmas last year, I still look back on our trip from Del Rio to New Jersey and marvel at how wonderfully boring it was! This was phenomenal because, on top of traveling much further, we graduated from a 10' truck for our first move to a 26' truck for this one, and we towed our new car on the back. While it was a bit more expensive than we had hoped, we, and our stuff, made it entirely unscathed. And those who've moved several times know that "miraculous" is the only word to describe the fact that none of our household goods broke en route!

The Move-In: The dream house I scouted out while we were still in Del Rio disappeared off the market when we got here. (It was a long shot to begin with; they were selling, we wanted to rent.) We had high hopes for base housing; they were quickly deflated. With just 5 days to move in somewhere before Eric had to go to training, the dream house fell into our lap. And they were wanting to rent! Not only that, but Eric was also able to move his training dates back a few days to help me move in. Our house is wonderful, the landlords are amazing, and the neighborhood is ideal.

THE PEOPLE!: I can't say enough about the amazing people we've met here thus far. I didn't realize how "homey" Del Rio felt until I was here--in a new house, in a new place, over a holiday--alone. Between the awesome couples in our squadron and the amazing people we've gotten to know at church, we continue to meet incredible people. Having learned in Del Rio that the people, not the place, make the experience, we are so excited about our new friendships here. This is sure to be a memorable 4 years.

The Church: We look forward to church every Sunday; the messages are relevant, the music is wonderful, and the people are genuine. To us, the best church is one where you feel that the people you meet on Sunday are the same people Monday-Saturday. The best church is one where you feel welcome and inspired. And the best church can be hard to find, especially when you're new to the area. We planned on visiting several churches for several weeks each to get a feel for each one. Our plan was clearly not God's plan. We felt at home from the moment we walked in the front door of the first church on the list. We knew this place was for us. Thank God for His leading, because the people we met there that first week were so wonderful to me while Eric was gone in the following weeks. There's just nothing like a church family.

Our Families: I could bore you for hours with how thankful I am for my family. I'm biased, but I think they're some of the coolest, smartest, most fun people on the planet. I grew up with very supportive parents and unique, fun siblings to hang out with and learn from. I'm also thankful for Eric's family. As a newlywed, the nightmare-ish in-law stories are endless. Thank God I don't have one of those stories to tell! I love them as my own family; they're genuine, fun, so comfortable to be around, and respectful of our relationship (something so many people don't have in their in-laws). And they all live in the same city! We are so blessed to have such a strong foundation of support.

And, on a personal note,
My Husband: Some days I get restless when I'm home. Alone. All day. Without a car. (We only have one.) But then I remind myself how lucky I am that we can afford for me not work. I also remember that it will be such a blessing to our marriage to have flexible hours when he is constantly coming and going. Sure, it's not always comfortable, but we do it, and the lessons we're learning about teamwork and financial management are invaluable. For me, working just for a paycheck is not worth it (unless we truly need the money, but then I'm not just working for a paycheck; I'm working to help support our family, which is always worthwhile). I want to work for fulfillment. I want to work to make a difference. I'm so blessed to have a husband that puts in long hours almost every day, fulfilling his dreams, defending our country, supporting us, and affording me the opportunity to seek work that inspires me. Furthermore, I'm so blessed that he understands and supports me in every way, including my choice to seek only those opportunities that mean something to me or others, paid or not. He shares my feeling that while money is necessary for living comfortably, it does nothing for the soul. And in these times of greed and gluttony, that's a rare point of view. I'm so thankful we're on the same page.


What are you thankful for? As cliche as it is, sometimes getting out of a funk is as easy as counting your blessings. I know this new year will bring lots of excitement, and with several missions and a first deployment on the horizon, some sizable trials. If 2010 taught me anything, it was that the mountain is never as tall as you think it is, and even "faith as small as a mustard seed" can make the climb easier and more often than not, enjoyable. For 2011, a mustard seed isn't enough for me; I'm planting a garden.