Well, another month has flown by-- but not without leaving it's mark.
The Good:
We attended the Art of Marriage Conference at our church last weekend. What an awesome ministry! The teaching was so relevant and challenging to us and it provided another opportunity to get involved by serving in the church. I spent the week leading up to the conference helping plan and organize the event; oh how fulfilling it was to use my talents and skills for such a worthy purpose.
The (not so) Bad:
Weather here is breaking news. No seriously. For almost an entire week, the news would begin with "(insert tragic event that happened in Philadelphia today, for which we have very few details)....but first, the breaking news is, once again, the AccuWeather Forecast." It is a common misconception that New Jersey gets snowfall in quantities similar to our home state of Michigan. Oh no, my friends. The temperatures here barely dip below freezing, and when they do you'd think NJers are afraid of immediate onset frostbite. It has snowed 5 times (maybe?!), but each 5-10'' snowfall was treated like a snowpocalypse of epic proportions. The fear is so strong that the entire base shut down and Eric did not have to go to work on two or three occasions. Granted, because they rarely get snow, they do not have the equipment (or plowing expertise!) to handle it. But still. It's pretty comical to these self-proclaimed Lake Effect Snow Warriors. After the first snowfall we thoroughly shoveled and liberally salted our driveway, expecting (like any snow-savvy midwesterner would) a regular dusting at the very least. We were amazed to see we were the only ones taking such precautions; no one else in the neighborhood bothered. The next day we figured out why: it. all. melted. And did not come back for another month. We probably looked like overzealous fools!
The Ugly:
Appendicitis paid me a visit; what an unexpected treat! As a result, I spent a lot of quality time with my cozy couch. Thank the Lord for the creators of Kindle and Netflix. I'm finally reaching the point where I can once again cook dinner and clean my house and carry a basket of laundry-- all in one day! Seriously though, they told me it wouldn't be a very long recovery. Turns out that my definition and the doctors' definition of "long" are different. I want my house back in order and I think the "milk it for all it's worth" period is long over where my handsome caretaker is concerned. Oh well, he was a great nurse while it lasted!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A Laundry List I Like
As we continue to find our groove in the new place, I am often overwhelmed with gratitude for the grace and blessings showered on us thus far. When I'm having a "meh" day, these are the things I think of:
The Voyage: After an overly-eventful move to Del Rio from Michigan, and a wild trip home for Christmas last year, I still look back on our trip from Del Rio to New Jersey and marvel at how wonderfully boring it was! This was phenomenal because, on top of traveling much further, we graduated from a 10' truck for our first move to a 26' truck for this one, and we towed our new car on the back. While it was a bit more expensive than we had hoped, we, and our stuff, made it entirely unscathed. And those who've moved several times know that "miraculous" is the only word to describe the fact that none of our household goods broke en route!
The Move-In: The dream house I scouted out while we were still in Del Rio disappeared off the market when we got here. (It was a long shot to begin with; they were selling, we wanted to rent.) We had high hopes for base housing; they were quickly deflated. With just 5 days to move in somewhere before Eric had to go to training, the dream house fell into our lap. And they were wanting to rent! Not only that, but Eric was also able to move his training dates back a few days to help me move in. Our house is wonderful, the landlords are amazing, and the neighborhood is ideal.
THE PEOPLE!: I can't say enough about the amazing people we've met here thus far. I didn't realize how "homey" Del Rio felt until I was here--in a new house, in a new place, over a holiday--alone. Between the awesome couples in our squadron and the amazing people we've gotten to know at church, we continue to meet incredible people. Having learned in Del Rio that the people, not the place, make the experience, we are so excited about our new friendships here. This is sure to be a memorable 4 years.
The Church: We look forward to church every Sunday; the messages are relevant, the music is wonderful, and the people are genuine. To us, the best church is one where you feel that the people you meet on Sunday are the same people Monday-Saturday. The best church is one where you feel welcome and inspired. And the best church can be hard to find, especially when you're new to the area. We planned on visiting several churches for several weeks each to get a feel for each one. Our plan was clearly not God's plan. We felt at home from the moment we walked in the front door of the first church on the list. We knew this place was for us. Thank God for His leading, because the people we met there that first week were so wonderful to me while Eric was gone in the following weeks. There's just nothing like a church family.
Our Families: I could bore you for hours with how thankful I am for my family. I'm biased, but I think they're some of the coolest, smartest, most fun people on the planet. I grew up with very supportive parents and unique, fun siblings to hang out with and learn from. I'm also thankful for Eric's family. As a newlywed, the nightmare-ish in-law stories are endless. Thank God I don't have one of those stories to tell! I love them as my own family; they're genuine, fun, so comfortable to be around, and respectful of our relationship (something so many people don't have in their in-laws). And they all live in the same city! We are so blessed to have such a strong foundation of support.
And, on a personal note,
My Husband: Some days I get restless when I'm home. Alone. All day. Without a car. (We only have one.) But then I remind myself how lucky I am that we can afford for me not work. I also remember that it will be such a blessing to our marriage to have flexible hours when he is constantly coming and going. Sure, it's not always comfortable, but we do it, and the lessons we're learning about teamwork and financial management are invaluable. For me, working just for a paycheck is not worth it (unless we truly need the money, but then I'm not just working for a paycheck; I'm working to help support our family, which is always worthwhile). I want to work for fulfillment. I want to work to make a difference. I'm so blessed to have a husband that puts in long hours almost every day, fulfilling his dreams, defending our country, supporting us, and affording me the opportunity to seek work that inspires me. Furthermore, I'm so blessed that he understands and supports me in every way, including my choice to seek only those opportunities that mean something to me or others, paid or not. He shares my feeling that while money is necessary for living comfortably, it does nothing for the soul. And in these times of greed and gluttony, that's a rare point of view. I'm so thankful we're on the same page.
What are you thankful for? As cliche as it is, sometimes getting out of a funk is as easy as counting your blessings. I know this new year will bring lots of excitement, and with several missions and a first deployment on the horizon, some sizable trials. If 2010 taught me anything, it was that the mountain is never as tall as you think it is, and even "faith as small as a mustard seed" can make the climb easier and more often than not, enjoyable. For 2011, a mustard seed isn't enough for me; I'm planting a garden.
The Voyage: After an overly-eventful move to Del Rio from Michigan, and a wild trip home for Christmas last year, I still look back on our trip from Del Rio to New Jersey and marvel at how wonderfully boring it was! This was phenomenal because, on top of traveling much further, we graduated from a 10' truck for our first move to a 26' truck for this one, and we towed our new car on the back. While it was a bit more expensive than we had hoped, we, and our stuff, made it entirely unscathed. And those who've moved several times know that "miraculous" is the only word to describe the fact that none of our household goods broke en route!
The Move-In: The dream house I scouted out while we were still in Del Rio disappeared off the market when we got here. (It was a long shot to begin with; they were selling, we wanted to rent.) We had high hopes for base housing; they were quickly deflated. With just 5 days to move in somewhere before Eric had to go to training, the dream house fell into our lap. And they were wanting to rent! Not only that, but Eric was also able to move his training dates back a few days to help me move in. Our house is wonderful, the landlords are amazing, and the neighborhood is ideal.
THE PEOPLE!: I can't say enough about the amazing people we've met here thus far. I didn't realize how "homey" Del Rio felt until I was here--in a new house, in a new place, over a holiday--alone. Between the awesome couples in our squadron and the amazing people we've gotten to know at church, we continue to meet incredible people. Having learned in Del Rio that the people, not the place, make the experience, we are so excited about our new friendships here. This is sure to be a memorable 4 years.
The Church: We look forward to church every Sunday; the messages are relevant, the music is wonderful, and the people are genuine. To us, the best church is one where you feel that the people you meet on Sunday are the same people Monday-Saturday. The best church is one where you feel welcome and inspired. And the best church can be hard to find, especially when you're new to the area. We planned on visiting several churches for several weeks each to get a feel for each one. Our plan was clearly not God's plan. We felt at home from the moment we walked in the front door of the first church on the list. We knew this place was for us. Thank God for His leading, because the people we met there that first week were so wonderful to me while Eric was gone in the following weeks. There's just nothing like a church family.
Our Families: I could bore you for hours with how thankful I am for my family. I'm biased, but I think they're some of the coolest, smartest, most fun people on the planet. I grew up with very supportive parents and unique, fun siblings to hang out with and learn from. I'm also thankful for Eric's family. As a newlywed, the nightmare-ish in-law stories are endless. Thank God I don't have one of those stories to tell! I love them as my own family; they're genuine, fun, so comfortable to be around, and respectful of our relationship (something so many people don't have in their in-laws). And they all live in the same city! We are so blessed to have such a strong foundation of support.
And, on a personal note,
My Husband: Some days I get restless when I'm home. Alone. All day. Without a car. (We only have one.) But then I remind myself how lucky I am that we can afford for me not work. I also remember that it will be such a blessing to our marriage to have flexible hours when he is constantly coming and going. Sure, it's not always comfortable, but we do it, and the lessons we're learning about teamwork and financial management are invaluable. For me, working just for a paycheck is not worth it (unless we truly need the money, but then I'm not just working for a paycheck; I'm working to help support our family, which is always worthwhile). I want to work for fulfillment. I want to work to make a difference. I'm so blessed to have a husband that puts in long hours almost every day, fulfilling his dreams, defending our country, supporting us, and affording me the opportunity to seek work that inspires me. Furthermore, I'm so blessed that he understands and supports me in every way, including my choice to seek only those opportunities that mean something to me or others, paid or not. He shares my feeling that while money is necessary for living comfortably, it does nothing for the soul. And in these times of greed and gluttony, that's a rare point of view. I'm so thankful we're on the same page.
What are you thankful for? As cliche as it is, sometimes getting out of a funk is as easy as counting your blessings. I know this new year will bring lots of excitement, and with several missions and a first deployment on the horizon, some sizable trials. If 2010 taught me anything, it was that the mountain is never as tall as you think it is, and even "faith as small as a mustard seed" can make the climb easier and more often than not, enjoyable. For 2011, a mustard seed isn't enough for me; I'm planting a garden.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Philippians 4:19
I think it's safe to speak for many when I say that sometimes military families just want to feel "normal". We want to get involved in the community, pretend we'll be here forever (that is, if we like it), and blend in. But due to the obvious, that's hard. Hard, because it's also very important to some to feel supported and understood in how our daily life operates. Not every non-military person understands or agrees with my reasons for not working right now; few fellow military spouses will question it. On top of that, so many non-military people try to "understand", but rather than simply listening, their way of "understanding" is attempting to identify in ways they just can't. Unless it is carefully said and appropriately applied, "oh, everyone goes through something like that" does not often make me feel less different from a non-mil person; it only minimizes my feelings, as well-intentioned as it may be. To be clear, this does not only pertain to the challenges but also the privileges of our unique lives. Such a communicative divide creates an admittedly self-inflicted, but seemingly unavoidable in-group, out-group situation, an "us and them" sort of relationship with everyone. Sometimes you prefer "us" for identification and support, and sometimes you want "them" to help you feel like you're still appreciated by--and part of--the rest of the world.
And yet...
Last Friday I helped decorate the church for Christmas. Have I expressed how WONDERFUL the people are there?! My first week in town a nice family at church invited me to Thanksgiving because they heard I'd be alone. And while decking the halls, another amazing woman I'm getting to know (we'll call her Jenny) showed me that while there are sometimes clearly-drawn lines between mil and non-mil, the right kind of friendships can transcend those lines and make one feel totally appreciated, understood, and valued-- independent of the labels.
Jenny had military friends who do the exact same job Eric does, but she still wanted to hear about our experience. She did not once claim to "get it" or say that she "totally understands", even though she has heard the same story several times before. She showed such genuine interest in our lifestyle, our first year of marriage, and how I personally am doing in this whole new world. This meant more to me than I could've known before our conversation started. I didn't even know I was needing that kind of personal attention! Most meaningful to me was that, while she acknowledged that Eric and I are a team, she made it clear that she specifically wanted to know how I was handling all the craziness of the past year. So often people focus on how cool the job is, all the incredible stuff and hard work that goes on in Eric's day-to-day, and simply forget that we are individuals as well. That the "support staff" has a life and interests and feelings that don't pertain to the Air Force bubble. That after all, while it may be more consuming than some, this is one person's career; there is another person involved and there are still many other facets to our life, just like that of anyone else. (Thankfully, my husband is most definitely not one of those people.) Don't get me wrong; I have, for the most part, enjoyed being Eric's answering service and main source of Eric-related updates (hey, I'm very proud of him, too!), but it was incredibly refreshing to have someone ask about me. Maybe this all sounds quite selfish, but even Eric notices people's lack of awareness where I'm concerned. He's often hyper-aware of keeping conversation on "us" and not just "him" when catching up with old friends and extended family. He did not even like that his graduation picture is on our Christmas card this year! I told him he was being ridiculous. :) (Did I mention how blessed I am to have such a considerate, tuned-in teammate?!)
By the end of our conversation, it was clear to Jenny and I that our impromptu girl-talk was definitely "a God thing". And oh, how awesome it was to randomly connect with another Christian woman like that!! She and her husband invited Eric and I on a double-date to their favorite spots in Philly, and she offered to use her contacts to help me come up with creative ways to work and find fulfillment outside of the conventional 9-5. Jenny was God's way of showing me that He is paying attention, He knows what I need, and He will provide. Friends, jobs, contentment, value-- He's got it all covered. I left feeling a little ashamed of my lacking faith and grateful for yet more grace and for a wonderful new friend. Through Jenny, God showed me that while we all have differences, the labels are optional and the lines are drawn in pencil. And He is capable of removing both.
And yet...
Last Friday I helped decorate the church for Christmas. Have I expressed how WONDERFUL the people are there?! My first week in town a nice family at church invited me to Thanksgiving because they heard I'd be alone. And while decking the halls, another amazing woman I'm getting to know (we'll call her Jenny) showed me that while there are sometimes clearly-drawn lines between mil and non-mil, the right kind of friendships can transcend those lines and make one feel totally appreciated, understood, and valued-- independent of the labels.
Jenny had military friends who do the exact same job Eric does, but she still wanted to hear about our experience. She did not once claim to "get it" or say that she "totally understands", even though she has heard the same story several times before. She showed such genuine interest in our lifestyle, our first year of marriage, and how I personally am doing in this whole new world. This meant more to me than I could've known before our conversation started. I didn't even know I was needing that kind of personal attention! Most meaningful to me was that, while she acknowledged that Eric and I are a team, she made it clear that she specifically wanted to know how I was handling all the craziness of the past year. So often people focus on how cool the job is, all the incredible stuff and hard work that goes on in Eric's day-to-day, and simply forget that we are individuals as well. That the "support staff" has a life and interests and feelings that don't pertain to the Air Force bubble. That after all, while it may be more consuming than some, this is one person's career; there is another person involved and there are still many other facets to our life, just like that of anyone else. (Thankfully, my husband is most definitely not one of those people.) Don't get me wrong; I have, for the most part, enjoyed being Eric's answering service and main source of Eric-related updates (hey, I'm very proud of him, too!), but it was incredibly refreshing to have someone ask about me. Maybe this all sounds quite selfish, but even Eric notices people's lack of awareness where I'm concerned. He's often hyper-aware of keeping conversation on "us" and not just "him" when catching up with old friends and extended family. He did not even like that his graduation picture is on our Christmas card this year! I told him he was being ridiculous. :) (Did I mention how blessed I am to have such a considerate, tuned-in teammate?!)
By the end of our conversation, it was clear to Jenny and I that our impromptu girl-talk was definitely "a God thing". And oh, how awesome it was to randomly connect with another Christian woman like that!! She and her husband invited Eric and I on a double-date to their favorite spots in Philly, and she offered to use her contacts to help me come up with creative ways to work and find fulfillment outside of the conventional 9-5. Jenny was God's way of showing me that He is paying attention, He knows what I need, and He will provide. Friends, jobs, contentment, value-- He's got it all covered. I left feeling a little ashamed of my lacking faith and grateful for yet more grace and for a wonderful new friend. Through Jenny, God showed me that while we all have differences, the labels are optional and the lines are drawn in pencil. And He is capable of removing both.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
All I Want For Christmas...
The tree is up, the house is decorated (and nearing completely unpacked status!), and the Christmas season is in full swing. There's a lot to look forward to this year, too. Tomorrow is the squadron Christmas party--our first ever "real Air Force" function! (After a year in the transient training world, it's exciting to be included in the "Permanent Party Club".)
We're also really looking forward to going home for Christmas, even if only for two days. (Yea, two. Not including the 24 hours of driving involved. We might be insane.) We love our new home, our new town, etc., but not having established relationships here yet makes the the idea of spending the holidays with family even more exciting.
I think everyone struggles with something, especially after a big move. For some, it's getting organized or lacking routine; for others, it's finding purpose in a new place. For me, it's establishing relationships. Okay, maybe I struggle with all of those things, but relationships are the hardest. Much unlike my social butterfly pilot (who also has a built-in social network of sorts), I'm terrible at it. I always have been. (If you haven't caught the hint, this is about to get very vulnerable; there, you've been warned.) Despite what many people perceive, I am extremely self-conscious and socially insecure. Especially when it comes to making girl friends. I want to have friends who understand me, who enjoy spending time with me, who come to me when they need someone to talk to. And I hate being new, so I want these BFFs right away. But in all of my "please get me!" nervousness, I go about earning this comradery by talking too much, sharing too soon, and totally freaking people out (or so it seems). Once I'm good and misunderstood, I proceed to guess the impression I made and analyze every social interaction ad nauseum until I am even more unsure of my likeability and no closer to having friends. Ugh; it's exhausting. All this lonely new kid business makes me so thankful for my family, my deep friendship with my husband and for the few close friends God has blessed me with. Not only do I value those relationships so much, but they also help me to know that, despite what I assume others' initial opinions of me may suggest, I actually do have a lot to offer a friend. (See, I told you I over-analyze.)
Dear Santa, I will practice not being a socially awkward weirdo if you will please bring me some friends for Christmas. Preferably ones who don't put all their eggs in the first impression basket; I sometimes need lots of do-overs.
We're also really looking forward to going home for Christmas, even if only for two days. (Yea, two. Not including the 24 hours of driving involved. We might be insane.) We love our new home, our new town, etc., but not having established relationships here yet makes the the idea of spending the holidays with family even more exciting.
I think everyone struggles with something, especially after a big move. For some, it's getting organized or lacking routine; for others, it's finding purpose in a new place. For me, it's establishing relationships. Okay, maybe I struggle with all of those things, but relationships are the hardest. Much unlike my social butterfly pilot (who also has a built-in social network of sorts), I'm terrible at it. I always have been. (If you haven't caught the hint, this is about to get very vulnerable; there, you've been warned.) Despite what many people perceive, I am extremely self-conscious and socially insecure. Especially when it comes to making girl friends. I want to have friends who understand me, who enjoy spending time with me, who come to me when they need someone to talk to. And I hate being new, so I want these BFFs right away. But in all of my "please get me!" nervousness, I go about earning this comradery by talking too much, sharing too soon, and totally freaking people out (or so it seems). Once I'm good and misunderstood, I proceed to guess the impression I made and analyze every social interaction ad nauseum until I am even more unsure of my likeability and no closer to having friends. Ugh; it's exhausting. All this lonely new kid business makes me so thankful for my family, my deep friendship with my husband and for the few close friends God has blessed me with. Not only do I value those relationships so much, but they also help me to know that, despite what I assume others' initial opinions of me may suggest, I actually do have a lot to offer a friend. (See, I told you I over-analyze.)
Dear Santa, I will practice not being a socially awkward weirdo if you will please bring me some friends for Christmas. Preferably ones who don't put all their eggs in the first impression basket; I sometimes need lots of do-overs.
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